Hopefully Not Bad News

This is going to be the most personal blog I have ever written but, I feel as though I need to let out some pressure.

About two or three months ago, I noticed a lump in my left underarm. I had talked to the Doctor about it, and he felt that it was probably just a cyst. He told me to keep an eye on it and let him know if anything changed. Well, it has since gotten a little bigger and very painful. So, Wednesday when I went to work I decided that I needed to talk to him about it again. He felt of it and said that it was bigger and was reaching closer to my left breast. So he now wants me to get a mammogram and ultrasound of it.

Well one of the girls that I work with made the appointment for me, I am bad about putting off appointments for myself, saying that I will make it later and never do. So I now have to go next Thursday for these tests to be ran. I have to say that I wasn't very concerned until I stopped and let reality hit me.

There are a lot of things that can make you a higher risk for breast cancer. Of course working in a doctors office we have a list. I was looking at this list and have almost everything going against me on this. One of the things listed was my size because I was blessed I have a 1 out of 2,500 chance of getting breast cancer. That was just the first one. If you have someone in your immediate family that had breast cancer then your chances are like 1 out of 250. Well I have both of those. So I guess that makes me an even bigger chance of getting breast cancer.

So needless to say I am really starting to worry. I am only 30 years old. I just turned 30 a little over a month ago. I have seen first hand the effects cancer can have on a family. I watched my dad battle cancer for 9 long years before he lost his battle. Then my dad's mom died from breast cancer, about 3 years after my dad. Then my father-in-law also lost his battle with cancer about four years ago. Plus working in a doctors office I see about 4-5 cancer patients every week.

This has turned into a pretty scary thing. I am hoping that it is not cancer, and trying to keep my hopes up but it is getting harder to do. It is hard not to think about it. What does not help is four years ago I had a spot under my nose. I had been sent to Dr. McIntires because I had a lot of ear infections and the first thing he said to me when he walked into the room was how long has that spot been there? I had told him it was there for about a year or so. Then he said I want to take it off it looks like cancer to me. Big slap, I was there for my ears and now he says he wants to cut my face open. Well to make a long story short I set up the appointment that day to take off the spot and two weeks later found out it was not cancer. Thank god.

Well I am sure that whatever happens I will deal with it one day at a time which is all any of us can do. With any luck it will not be cancer and this worrying will have been for nothing.